alone

bila rakan-rakan mula menjauhi
bila manusia mula mengkhianati
bila rasa diri keseorangan

masih ada yang tidak pernah penat
mendepa tangan menyambut.
tanpa sebarang rasa prejudis atau sangsi
tanpa dendam

OHANA.

yang sempurna

The umi's boy
yang paling dengar kata dan rajin.
pagi-pagi dah teman abah basuh kereta.
yang menangis bila tahu aku nk ke kolej esoknya tapi aku taknak lepak bilik dia.
yang suka tolong aku bila aku malas
yang selalu hantar mesej 'I love u' kat aku n alang.
yang simpan rahsia aku. tapi aku suka pecahkan rahsia dia. contohnya bila dia bagitahu aku
dia minat Husnina.
yang marah bila aku cium dia depan anak perempuan jiran sebelah,
konon macho la tu.
tapi bila lama tak jumpa umi, balik menangis nak umi peluk. heh!
yang paling manja dan
obviously touching terlebih and kuat nangis.

pukul 7 pagi dah hantar mesej
"Hari ni hari lahir Kamil" kat satu famili.


nah, amik kau..

SELAMAT HARI LAHIR ke 12,
NIK AHMAD KAMIL

Do the best in your UPSR!
I always love u.

=)

fading away

too much care, too easy to break, too much everything. EVERYTHING.
the worst part, slowly scratch the heart and then come the tears.
slowly the feels fade away.

by the time you realize it,
it is already gone.

and


worth nothing to fix it.


--------------

jangan sesekali pijak orang ketika kamu di atas,
kerana tidak mustahil untuk mereka menarik kamu jatuh ke bawah.

*hectic and tired ='(

he come
crying on my shoulder
heart broken
no money
and sorrow

he go
happily
in love
with money
and joy


he is my on-off imagination partner.

when he go, he never let me in touch with him. tsk!

not a good morning to start my day

Bagun awal. good!
Semalam habis meeting lambat then terlupa ada kuiz 'modelling and analysis' this week. ok. kelas modelling pukul 9.00am. Lambat lagi bai. study slow-slow.
start dr page pertama buku teks. Introduction and definition. Good!
Sambil-sambil, send mesej good morning kat Enche H, hantar urgent mesej pasal follow up meeting semalam.

Then, masuk chapter 2, Laplace transformation. Tengok masa dah 8.25 am. Dah tu pulak kuiz yang masuknye Laplace bukannya 'introduction to system dynamic'.
Tak sempat. Mandi, belum. Quiz redha je la.

8.50 am siap semua,masuk kereta panaskan enjin, check henfon. Ok, tertinggal dalam drawer. Sigh~
Panjat lagi tangga, turun dah pukul 9.00 am.

Orang cakap nak start a good day kena senyum. Senyum sorang-sorang dalam kereta. Gila. Hope after this karma baik datang. Meh..meh.

Sampai ke kolej, napak kereta depan kena tahan. Pakgad tak bagi masuk parking area kolej.
Ah takpe, konfiden,
Sticker kereta, check!
Student ID, Check!

"Dik tak leh masuk. Cari parking kat lain" pakgad kepada aku.
Sia la. Tengok jam dah 9.10 am. Ada kuiz, jam pulak tu. Cari parking outside kolej. Pusing-pusing dapat satu parking yang jarak ke kelas sama jauhnya dar jarak apartment aku ke kelas. Sia lagi.
Sampai kelas 10 min later. Takde kuiz. Penat jalan, masuk kelas aircond takde, lampu pun takde. Ape kena nih?

Dalam kelas, check mesej. Dieorang tak reply lagi urgent mesej. Tak bangun lagi ke dieorang ni? Tak de kredit ke? Dah tak senang duduk. Mesej penting kot. Enche H pun tak reply mesej.

1 jam kemudian tepuk dahi just to realize that aku lupa nak topup semalam.
Bodoh sia.

Rasa nak lempang diri sendiri laju-laju.


Yeah. Not a very good morning. What did i do last night?

Monday Blues?



Encik Karma-Baik.. I'm waiting. *batting eyelashes* gedik.

thought.

aku selalu tersentuh bila teringatkan balik macam mana kami going through semua kepayahan, kesusahan bersama, kemudian dengan perlahan-lahan bangun dan menikmati segala yang terbaik hari ini.

jauh lagi bernilai dari hadiah paling mahal di dunia ni pun.

i really don't agree with the idea of being too 'menjaga hati' toward pasangan kita. simpan senyap-senyap dalam hati.
at the end of the day, bila hati dah gila membengkak, sampai dah rasa annoying, segalanya spill out and none of them dapat di selamatkan.

sebab aku pernah rasa.

and i'm glad he never treat me that way. we did quarrel, arguing and fighting but because of these, we know each other better. remembering all these, makes me easily touched and forgave him.

i'm not being denial that we want our lover/friends to be our supporter, but is it worth for the sake tak nak bagi kita sakit hati padahal they aren't telling the us truth?? yes the truth is bitter, but knowing the truth after ditipu is more bitter.

ouch!

prepare, open your mind and try to be optimistic. don't feel so sad, emotional or mengamuk tak tentu hala. diam, take your time dan fikir semula kenapa dia cakap camtu. Tak semua perkara kita betul, tak semua view of life kita paling sesuai, fikir dan yang boleh kita adapt, kita amik la. At least kita improve our life to be a better person kan?







oh.. point tiba-tiba menyimpang.k bye.

i'm sorry

i'm not perfect, yes i'm
almost all the time,
i'm hurting you.

and
you are the most perfect man to fit in my heart,
but i've taken it for granted.

and for that..
I'M SORRY


='(

please

everything, i mean everything, not on my side.

I MISS you

tersenyum sorang-orang bila bukak email ada mesej comel masuk..


dari seorang budak umur 10 tahun yang bising, banyak cakap, suka mengamuk, bergurau, hyperactive, melompat sana sini, dan teman gaduh mulut dengan aku. very annoying almost all the time. masa untuk tak sakit hati hanya masa dia ke sekolah atau dia tengah tidur. Despite all this, she never fail to kiss my cheek before we sleep, hug me and crying masa aku nak bertolak balik ke kolej. Sometimes, we do pillow talk and chatting, she's telling me what happen in school, about friends and asking me about being an adult. urgh adult ke?.Oh, tak lupa juga, sending comment to each other in myspace, gedik. Padahal laptop sebelah menyebelah. haha.. A very bright child. Yes, I'm missing her very much.

And...

Today is her birthday,

To Eby,



HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY, NIK NURUL FARAHIM

I miss you too and be a good girl. tsk!

*ahh.. missing her sampai rasa nak nangis.

first week of new sem

sangat bercelaru.
ke sana sini nak register subjek, beli barang itu ini. notes beterabur. kelas ada yang tak pergi langsung for a week, even hari ni pun tak sempat nak pegi... semuanya pasal ragistration subjek yang tak selesai lagi.

huh!

dah start new sem, biasala semangat berkepuk-kepuk. nak yang terbaik for the whole sem. tapi awal sem dah jadi camni. masuk kelas pulak blur.Rasa rendah diri, tak berguna, tak sedar diri pastu menyusahkan orang. Tu la, degil pastu bodoh sombong. Urgh!


Masalah yang lepas, sampai sekarang tak selesai. Perlu diam diri dan buat tak tahu atau luahkan je terus?


*Maybe sebenarnya aku tak prepare untuk start this sem. Rindu rumah pun masih berbaki. =(

1..2..3rd year. and counting

Third Anniversary.

(11 July 2006)

3 years knowing you and loving you.
through ups and downs.


I love you more than i could ever promise my dear.




Cause i know,
you love me the way i am.


Enche H,
I HEART YOU.

simple pleasures

top list goes to

1. Sharing and talking about our interest; superbike, engineering and life with my super daddy.
2. Finished all my to do list for one day
3. Satsuma warm bath.


all these things really make my day. overwhelmed and big smile.

please tell me!!

people,

what is the difference between back-stabbing
dan meluahkan perasaan sedih & kecewa?



kusut!

urgh!

am i too optimistic or they are too pessimist?


Argumentation!

third orientation. maybe fourth?

we'r facilitating mass H.

registration day.

MASS H5 on the last day.

baru habis orientasi. macam biasa. fasilitator.
penat dan tension.
but i really had fun with MASS H.
they are under JPA scholar, doing preparation for American Top University.
this is my third time facilitating new student.
last year, i was facilitating students under Bank Negara and MoE scholarship. also for ATU.

hurm..skema.
not really in the good mood actually. the atmosphere trapped me inside.
so need to get fresh air.

*i'm sorry, but i really don't like pink, pinky, pinky-licious atau sewaktu dengannya.
pfft!! [read: my braces band is pink, eww!]