rindu

my super & great motivator dady

my lovely mumy.

seriously, tak sabar nak balik rumah. asyik teringat ja kat umi ngan abah. buat internship kat rumah pun takpa. rindu nak dengar abah bahan umi, pastu umi konon merajuk, pastu senyum. COMEL!! rindu umi punya membebel sebab malas basuh pinggan pastu abah pula bersungguh bagi semangat bila rasa down masa study.

Love ya.

♥Muah sejutakali.

NAK BALIKKKK!!!!

Hey Orange.

Tuhan, kembalikan aku pada tulang rusuk dia.
I miss you, my annoying orange.

untitled

Konflik. banyak benda berterabur dalam kepala. Pieces of jigsaw puzzle. The whole sets are already here in my mind, now it is my role to arrange them. Matured. Semakin tua semakin tak dapat fikir mana yang elok mana yang teruk. Asyik duk ikut kata hati yang meroyan. Kalau macam ni memang sampai bila ah tak matured. Dependent. Too much. Semua asyik nak suruh orang suapkan. Semua nak mintak diajar. Duit. Tiap-tiap bulan tak malu mintak duit dengan abah. Abah tak pernah turn down. Sekarang dah mula rasa segan. Scholar bulan-bulan sepatutnya lebih dari cukup, tapi still melebih-lebih mintak duit. Tak pernah nak belajar berjimat. Sayang. Sayang tu sentiasa. Cuma jauh nak digapai. Tak menadah, tak campak keluar. Terbiar di tengah tengah. Self-esteem. Makin lama makin ke kosong. Konon nak naikkan self-esteem, last-last makin down.

Kalau nak mengeluh, sampai grad pun takkan habis mengeluh bai. Hmm....

Final Exam mode

Study at McDonald's Equine Park

22/3/2010 Heat Transfer
26/3/2010 Engineer in Society
27/3/1010 Control System
02/4/2010 Technical Communication
03/4/1010 Engineering Measurement & Laboratory


nasib baik Mechanical Design Process takda exam.


*thanks Enche H, kerana masih sudi bawa saya naik hot air balloon.

where is my reset button?

its hard nowadays. its become harder everyday. I don't know whether it is pre-final examination anxiety or it is just me being too emotional.

Now 4.30 am, i'm feeling emotional & mental breakdown. I cried again. I know it is not appropriate to write like this, I'm not seeking anyone attention. I just want to spill them. To release my tension. I'm sorry for being emotional lately.

I cant sleep
I cant do anything.
I afraid of everything
I'm losing grip on my hope.

Seriously, cant wait to go back home today. Pushing my reset button and seeing my best therapists, umi & abah.

But still, i cant sleep.

Oh God.

='(

odd time

now its the end of this semester.
and everything going sooooo fast. this semester is the rough one. Awful.

Started with the relationship status. heart broken. i dont now how to express it here. I still miss him.It just...
it just too...
make it short; Forsaken. Forlorn.

The lost of my beloved one. For some reason, lately, i miss her very much. And i can feel the void inside. She is the best and suddenly we lost her. We love u and we know she loves us too. The night i slept beside her last month will remains forever.

The workloads in this semester are ridiculous. The presentations, progress reports, lab reports proposals, final reports, projects, tests and assignments all in one semester. I have 2 presentations, 2 final reports, 1 proposal and 1 project to be settled in my study week.

The last one.. my health.

And again. I'm sorry for being very emotional lately. I tried to smile, i tried to laugh, but i just cant take all this anymore.

Beratnya ujian kali ni... ="(

Things that make me stand still until now..

My parents, my close buddies and this:

(rephrase)
"Allah takkan datangkan ujian melainkan Dia tahu kemampuan hambanya."




*For many reasons, i miss her, the 2005-fatimaazzahra.

Awak

Awak tak tunggu pun saya.
Sampai hati awak.

Saya tunggu awak tau.

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