PRIVASI

 It's been a while. Today is our anniversary. happy 8th Anniversary to us. Been married since 11 February 2013 And I think I need to start writing again. just for fun..maybe.  Sebenarnya sebab ter-inspired by my idol-blog famous circa 2007-2009; Sue Anna Joe. Boleh click her blog link here; http://bloggingbehaviour.blogspot.com Hmm.. banyak term blog yang dah lupa. Sorry for my current layout. Apparently blogger dah tukar their dashboard. Pastu gadget, blog followed semua dah hilang.. Banyak benda nak kena godek2 lagi. Nak balancekan web view and mobile view. Since sekarang ramai akan baca via mobile kan. Need to get a neat layout for both. Also, I have to clean up few older posts yang "cringe" tapi now lewat and being me yang mudah distracted, i will read them first then ralit pastu terus lupa nak create a new post. So sementara semangat masih ada ni, kita create satu post. Anyway, this space will be my random babbling place. Will be rojak for the time being. Nak get the...

If only people know what we’ve been through.. What ever happened in the past, are lessons learned for both of us. I used to say ‘Pelan-pelan kayuh’ We did it so far. Alhamdulullah. Enam bulan lepas, aku rasa one of dugaan berat for me. He didn’t know. Almost kecundang. One day; Hari Arafah. We were at the R&R, time wukuf we both sat and prayed. I prayed for my heart, to ease the burden, to forget, to let it go and.. To have our own child. He asked, what did I prayed for.. i smiled, but my heart..... was almost bursting. I said “Rahsia” After few months, I guess Allah answers my prayer. But not the last one (yet).

Dah lima tahun :') Lima tahun yang tidak senang. Dalam caption insta aku, dia tanya kenapa aku tulis awesome husband. Atas birthday cake dia pun aku tulis benda sama. Aku tanya dia balik; "Berapa ramai kawan-kawan awak tanya, 'Isteri kau selalu outstation jauh-jauh kau tak risau ke?'"  Dia jawab, "Ramai"  Aku pun cakap, "Even orang sekeliling saya pun tanya soalan sama 'Suami kau tak marah ke?'" Aku sambung lagi, "Awak, it takes a great husband, with great kepercayaan untuk lepaskan isteri dia pergi mengejar cita-cita. Support yang tak ramai suami boleh bagi. Tapi awak, simpan semua keresahan tu, untuk support saya kejar cita-cita saya. Sebab tu awak awesome di hati saya." Lima tahun. Kalau dia tak letak kepercayaan kat aku, mungkin tahun kedua aku dah berhenti dan stop kerja-kerja site. Walaupun aku pernah terlanggar janji, tapi dia tetap support aku. Sepanjang lima tahun, tak ...

Hej Denmark! 3 Oktober 2016 Hari Isnin. Kami dijangka berlepas pada 8.50 pm menaiki Qatar Airways. Jam 12.00 kami dah bertolak dari rumah memandangkan kami perlu ke rumah kakak ipar di Kelana Jaya. Husband plan nak tinggalkan kereta di rumahnya kemudian kakak ipar akan hantar kami ke KLIA. Lepas solat zohor dan mandi, kami bergerak ke KLIA. Sebelum sampai ke KLIA, sempat singgah kat Mitsui Outlet sebab nak cari kasut boot. Muahaha. Sebabnye aku tak ada kasut yang proper. Yang ada hanyalah flat Sketchers dan dari pembacaan aku, kasut jenis tu tersangatlah tak sesuai kalau nak pergi time2 sejuk macam ni. Terpaksalah aku cari kasut boot jugak. Maybe kalau tak sebab safety boots aku terkoyak tapak, boleh la aku jalan2 pakai safety boots je. Sampai Mitusi terus tuju kat Timberland. Mana yang ada size, rembat je. Melayang lagi duitku.. tapi aku rasa perlaburan yang berbaloi sebab boots tu ringan, berat cuma 200g je weih! Tak rasa mcm pakai kasut boot pun sepanjang dua mi...

Referring to the previous entry. Alright. Setelah seminggu jet lag. Almaklumlah akok tidak pernah ke negara Eropah, so jet lag melampau2 gitu. Before ingatan makin lupus, baiklah cerita awal2 trip last Horneymoon haritu. Sebelum tu nak cerita, asalnya trip ni adalah trip training + FAT (Factory Acceptance Test) ke Svenborg, Denmark. Tapi alang2 company dah bayor flight return KL - Copenhagen, makanya sambil menyelam minum air, aku mintak date retun tu lambat seminggu. Segala persiapan semua last minute. Walaupun ura-ura akan ke Denmark tu since awal tahun lagi. Tapi tak mahu la excited terlebih. Jadinya bila dah official keluar surat kena ke sana, which was dua minggu sebelum berangkat, barulah side planning *cough cough*, dibuat. Oh ya. walaupun ticket return dibayar oleh company, tapi segala perbelanjaan dan hotel setelah habis training adalah tanggungan sendiri. Husband juga bayar tiket dia sendiri, cuma mintak company tolong bookan je. Trip training ini aku pergi dengan 4...

Assalamualaikum and Hi. After three years, baru perasan yang every year we both will be travelling somewhere. So list jelah all the places we went. Nanti ada masa boleh update balik blog for future reading. 2013 Sabah - Kundasang & Pulau Manukan (Our First Honeymoon) Cameron Highland 2014 Buzy!  - Royal Belum Resort 2015 Sabah - Kundasang again Krabi, Thailand Hatnyai, Thailand 2016 Sarawak - Kuching ... and finally next week we will start new honeymoon + my birthday trips. Seven countries in total. Kali ni jauh and big expenses. Worth it? We'll see. ;) Passport - Checked Flight, Train and Cruise Tickets - Checked Currency exchage - Checked Hotels -  One more country belum book Winter clothing (eh?) - Almost.. Pening kepala sebab buat itinerary sendiri. Baca blog, tripadvisor, pilih negara yang nak pergi, pastu compare harga flight and train, tercekik air liur tengok hotel price sampai la.. shopping autumn/winter clothes. Dengan nak shop...

Hi.. Ingat nak sambung entri 'The Journey'  tapi macam malas pulak nak taip entri melancholic since now baru sembuh demam typhoid a.k.a demam kepialu. Btw yang kelakarnya ramai orang tak tahu demam kepialu tu apa. Siap ingat adik beradik demam denggi la, demam malaria la. Aduyai. Meh kali ni nak cerita apa tu demam kepialu. Basically demam kepialu ni adalah demam yang diakibatkan oleh bakteria Salmonella Thyphi yang biasanya ada dalam makanan and minuman yang tercemar. So simptom dia macam keracunan makanan except that dia datang sekali dengan demam dan lain-lain simptom. Demam kepialu kalau tak dirawat boleh mengakibatkan kematian. Huhuhu.  Kisah aku. Since aku baru je recover dari operation bulan 12 yang lepas, bila aku start masuk kerja akhir bulan Januari, aku rasa pening-pening, letih, cold sweat dan hilang fokus. Mula-mula ingatkan hypoglycemia, so aku pun beli la glucose time lunch. Lepas minum dua gelas rasa okay sikit. Balik ruma...

The year was 2013. It was me getting married to the person I’ve known for 6 months and looking forward to build a family with him. I can see myself; holding our first baby. 2015 and not a sign of embryo in my womb. More than thirty times my body failed me. I wasn’t sad, rather worried. I still remember seeing Dr Adilah of Hospital Pantai for the third time. It was in 2014. She was looking at my black and white HSG report.  It didn’t look good. ‘Suspected Adenomyosis and tubal blockage’ There. After two cycles of clomid with twice the dosage on the second time, she gave me a choice; Laparoscopy or IUI. I cried on my way back. I remember back in 2010 I had a biopsy for fibroadenoma . Could it be from the same cause? 

Happy New Year. Macam bercakap dengan dinding masa type previous posts. Lama jugak private blog. Throwback 2015. Kerja- kerja-kerja-kerja 10 projects as Project/Job Manager and 5 more assisting my colleague with his projects. Fuhhh.. penat Tuhan je tahu. Driving alone all over Malaysia sampai keluar term "Kereta ku, Rumah ku". Mileage pun dah cecah lebih 100k! Tak sampai tiga tahun pun lagi. Tapi of course la enjoy sebab memang minat . Betul la kata mat salleh; amik siap google lagi image ni. Kah! Ada one time tu aku pernah siapakan site job kat PD pukul 2 pagi pastu direct drive ke Gerik sebab ada kick-off project meeting and back on the same day just to find out kena pergi Pulau Tioman on the next day. Gile kau! Gagahkan lah jugak drive sorang-sorang ke Mersing. Balik Tioman terus demam. En Somi siap gelak n gelar Power Puff Girl. Katang sangat katenya. pfft! Sebenarnya ni normal untuk most engineer kat ofis aku, Masing-masing kira m...

3 of 366 (yeah, this year is the leap year) I lost my only grand ma. I saw she's taking her last breath. I was there. Speechless. When I hold her hand, I still feel the warmth. It felt surreal. She's gone with the presence of all her children. I can't recall the moment after that and suddenly, people were coming to our home. It just weird when people coming to your house to pay their last visit at 3 am. I recited Yaasin beside her after Subuh prayer. Umi told me to get ready, we would be busy throughout the day as we're the host. At 7 am, my husband, sister, cousins and relatives from all over Malaysia arrived. The funeral preparation started since before Subuh. As we washed her body, it suddenly hit me, "this is the last time I can do deed to her". I gently washed her hand, I pray that Allah swt will be merciful to her like she did when she raised my mom. I keep praying and praying. Soon after her body on the white sheets, I could see her face ...

4 years. Years ago, I started working in the manufacturing industry. But then, they decided to consolidate our plant to Bangkok. So I took the VSS (Volutary Separation Scheme), received the compensation money, bought my car, got married and saved the rest. Not regret at all. Hahaha.. Yang ni tak nak cerita panjang coz banyak dah kot cerita in the previous posts. Few months before my separation date, I was interviewed by few oil and gas companies, including Technip and Alstom. But then, I got the offer from SK. Siapa tak nak kan? Esp me yang memang naaaaakkkk sangat kerja O&G plus SK is a big company.  One week after I left the manufacturing company, I reported to the SK Kemaman Base as Maintenance Engineer. It was weird at first. When I was in manufacturing company, I was dealing with precision tools. My adjustable wrench was smaller than my palm, but when i was in the yard, I even found biggggg adjustable wrench that I can't even lift with my both hands.  ...

It is necessary to blog? Rasa macam dah tidak relevan untuk aku. Tapi aku suka blog sebab macam diary. In few years time, i can look back and know how much i had changed. Now, aku suka update my life dalam IG,  My IG is my journal, like..when did i start my job, what did i bought for my self-reward, where did i go/eat, my memories with my families and friends and other special occasions. I cannot blog that everyday and scroll down as easy as IG does. My IG is for future-me. Tp at the same time aku suka tulis caption panjang2. Nak blogging tapi kat blog payah nak upload gambar. T.T (dan takde emotikon) Sebab tu, sekarang aku start tak approve people I don't really know kat IG.  Kalau rasa down, i did scroll my old pics to remember the old memories. A good one.  Well, different people have different reason. And mine, it is my picturesque journal. I wouldn't judge yours. If it is not interesting, i'll just unfollow, but doesn't mean that i don't like...

Rasa nak berblog balik. Bila baca balik semua blog-blog yang aku follow, rasa macam naik time machine. Balik semula ke zaman 2007-2010. Even khatamkan balik entri-entri lama aku, from 2007, zaman blog aku nama 'Monolog Mentah'. Told abah pasal a few bloggers yang buat duit melalui nuffnang, riban2 cek sebulan. Abah cakap: "Jadi blogger tegar dan ramai pengikut kena kental. Post tak boleh ikut emosi. Kena selalu maintain content, kalau informative lagi bagus, baru orang nak baca" Aku. Angguk. Tapi dalam hati... Abah baca blog ke? Macam tahu banyak je pasal blogging. Lama aku private blog ni. Sahabat baik tiba-tiba tanya kenapa private. IDK.

Oh..aku ada blog rupanya. Setahun lebih hiatus. 2014 takde post langsung. Janji nak update pasal wedding, sampai Anniversary ke dua pun tak ter-update. Tak payah update terus jelah.  Sekarang hadap instagram & twitter. IG is more about my picturesque journal. So intimate for me. I just love to look back at my old pics and reminiscing the past moments. Different people, different plak cara dia guna IG ye dok? The last post rasanya cite pasal my PJJ.  Merapu banyak sebab jiwa kacau kena jauh dengan suami. Lepas dapat balik KL, jiwa kacau lagi. Dugaan yang ni, aku rasa lagi hebat dari dugaan berjauhan. Hampir jatuh, hampir ranap dan hampir karam. To the extend, aku rasa, aku lagi sanggup diduga dengan PJJ dari dugaan yang satu ni. But after a lot of doa, solat hajat, aku cakap kat diri sendiri..pelan-pelan kayuh. Nak laju-laju pi mana ntah. Yang mana tersilap langkah, undur balik, walau sebenarnya...hmm.. walau sebenarnya cukup jauh sudah sesat. Alhamdulillah...

When I was in Kemaman Base, I was desperately applying for any job in KL. I just want to be nearer to my husband. One of the options was quitting my job and applying full time postgraduate studies. So I applied Master of Engineering in Mechanical in addition to my BEng. To my surprise, I get accepted to University of Malaya! one of the top engineering school in Malaysia. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Fulltime Master of  Mechanical Engineering by course work. But now, I am here, in SK HQ and in doubt. Should I continue my study or just stay with my current job? My friends suggested to register first. They told me that it is hard to get accepted to UM especially for MEng. However, my husband told me to hold it. He wants me to continue Master with him. Told me to have stable job first as I just started my work in HQ. I might be going to offshore or outstation in the near future, and that will affect me if I continue my studies even for part time. What sh...

Assalamualaikum. Selamat pagi. Antara cinta dan cita-cita. Mengapai cita-cita, miliki apa yang aku impikan, kerjaya impian, Cinta, suami yang cukup sempurna di mata aku yang lebih dari apa yang aku minta dari Tuhan. Bunyi seperti sungguh sempurna bukan? " Never judge people until you have walked a mile in their shoes." Dan aku.. beratus batu memandu setiap minggu kerana cintaku dan cita-citaku bukan pada tangan kanan dan kiriku. Jarak. Antara cinta aku dan cita-cita aku di pisahkan oleh jarak. Cinta yang sempurna dan cita-cita yang menggunung. Buntu. "Family comes first. You can find money anywhere but not love." Di bumi Kemaman ini aku kosong. Hanya kerja yang menemani aku sepanjang hari. Membawa aku dari dilema ini. Berlalu kemudian aku sunyi. Kesik.  Ketawa aku hanya pura-pura. Ceritaku hanya untuk memecah kesunyian. Aku bukan aku. Aku lemas. Tidurku hanya untuk menanti esok hari.  Kegembiraan aku ada pada cintaku. Tiada yang lebih indah dari...

May..Jun..July..anddddd September. Assalamualaikum. It had been a long time. Well i'm sorry for the lack of update here.. by that i mean, NONE. For those who are waiting about my wedding prep and day (ehem..azie).. sorry T.T No laptop, poor internet connection and superrrr busy. yeah cliche righttttttt So one pic for now and i pray hard that i'll have time to update summore later. Teaser married to the wonderful man on earth ♥ That's all for now. hehe. :p

Assalamualaikum.. I was thinking to continue with the wedding preparation update. Unfortunately, last few weeks, I was busy with the final job to close down the dept and also attending few interviews. And last week, I've got an offer. Alhamdulillah. It's one of the big Malaysian oil and gas service company and the job scope is similar with the job i did in my current company. It is an offer i couldn't resist. :) However, it also means that me and my husband will endure a long distance relationship. My new job will be in Kemaman base. It is a sacrifice i need to do and he is very supportive. So this is it. will start a new job, new place and will be quite busy after this. Hopefully i can find some time to update this blog. till then, Wassalam.

Assalamualaikum.. Bersambung lagi dari entri lepas. After the engagement, benda pertama kami start adalah dress and wedding attire. Torn off between nak sewa, sewa but custommade, or cari designer to make our own baju. Kata sepakat, we made our own baju sebab since ini adalah our once in a lifetime big day, we want to keep the baju as the memoir of our wedding. Nanti boleh bagi anak pakai masa wedding dieorang. Hahah berangan. The listing of the designer started. Aku list down satu-satu designer and end of the day lepas crossed few names, we ended up with Man Kajang and Dwen Raha. Masa tu dah memang nekad gila dah nak Dwen Raha after tgk collection2 dia kat FB. Satu malam, aku beranikan diri PM kat fb.. skali dia cakap dah penuh until August 2013. My god, masa tu baru bulan November kot.. So memang frust jugak la.. sbb kalau Man Kajang of course la tip top baju dia but since kami boleh cari designer yang better priced why not kurangkan spending on the attire kan? Then ...

Alhamdulillah Everything went well. Walaupun kelam kabut sedikit here and there, maklumlah anak first but yeah.. i am glad that it went well. :) Seriously need to update pasal wedding preparation since ramai yang personally email, sms, dan segala jenis bentuk komunikasi bertanyakan pasal vendor untuk dresses, pelamin, photog n even makeup. so senangnya, next time aku bagi je link blog ni yeh? last week baru je bagi sefolder gambar kat member yang tanya pasal wedding aku untuk preparation kahwin kakak dia. siap aku describe satu2. huhu.. It is the joy of sharing the best moment of my life. The preparation and the event itself. I had fun organizing it with my fiancee. He was very supportive and helpful, even he himself did his task very well. Also, not to mention the coffee shops, wedding magazines we bought and bawak ke hulu kehilir on our meet ups. inspiration. really helpful And I still remember Dome Alamanda was our first wedding preparation meet up. Ngeee... ...